Welcome, you don't have to be an expert
You already know your child better than anyone. This guide gives you a gentle, ready made way to talk with them about two skills that shape almost everything else in life: understanding their feelings and working through conflict.
It comes straight from The Youth Movement program, the same lessons we use with teens, but rewritten for home. There are no lectures to give and nothing to grade. Each session is a guided conversation, plus a short activity and one small thing to try during the week.
Who this is for: Parents and caregivers of kids roughly ages 11 to 18, families who want these skills at home, and anyone willing to give about 30 to 45 minutes a week for eight weeks.
What's inside
- Welcome & how to use this guide
- Setting up your weekly time together
- Part 1 · Understanding Feelings (Sessions 1 to 4)
- Part 2 · Handling Conflict (Sessions 5 to 8)
- When something feels bigger than you can handle
- Tips for tough moments & keeping it going
How each session works
Do roughly one session a week, in order, the skills build on each other. If life gets busy, skip a week and pick up where you left off.
- Warm up (5 min), A quick, easy question to get talking.
- Talk together (15 min), The main idea with questions to explore.
- Try it (10 min), A short hands on activity or matching worksheet.
- This week (1 min), One small thing to practice before the next session.
Pair each session with the printable Kid Activity Pack. Pick a regular time, many families use the same evening or weekend morning each week.
Part 1 · Understanding Feelings
These first four sessions help your child notice what they feel, put it into words, stay steady when emotions run high, and understand what others are feeling.
Big question: Why do feelings matter?
- Warm up
- Ask: "What's one word for how your day went, and why that word?" Answer it yourself first.
- Talk together
- Feelings are signals, not problems. Everyone has them. The goal isn't to get rid of feelings, it's to notice them so they don't run the show.
- Try it
- List as many feeling words as you can in two minutes. Each circle the three you've felt most this week.
- This week
- Notice one moment when a feeling changed what you did, and be ready to share it next time.
Big question: Is "fine" really how you feel?
- Warm up
- Name a situation (lost your phone, aced a test) and each say the first feeling word that pops up.
- Talk together
- The more specific we get, the easier it is to handle a feeling. There's a big difference between annoyed and furious.
- Try it
- Build a family "feelings menu" and keep it on the fridge.
- This week
- Keep a quick feelings log for three days using a specific word each time.
Big question: What's the space between feeling and doing?
- Warm up
- Ask: "What does your body do right before you lose your cool?"
- Talk together
- There's a moment between feeling something and acting on it. Build a personal calm down toolkit.
- Try it
- Each make a calm down toolkit list of 3 to 5 things that help and post it somewhere handy.
- This week
- Use one tool from the toolkit during a stressful moment and notice if it helped.
Big question: Can you really know what someone else is feeling?
- Warm up
- Watch a short clip with the sound off and guess what others are feeling from faces and posture.
- Talk together
- Empathy is feeling with someone, not just for them. We read clues, face, tone, body language.
- Try it
- Pick a recent low stakes disagreement. Each describe what the other person might have been feeling.
- This week
- Pay close attention to one person's mood and check in by asking how they're really doing.
Part 2 · Handling Conflict
Now your child uses those feeling skills with other people. These four sessions reframe conflict as normal and teach how to stay calm, listen, speak up, and repair things afterward.
Big question: Is all conflict a bad thing?
- Talk together
- Conflict means two people want different things, it's normal. The problem isn't having conflict; it's how we handle it.
- This week
- Notice one small conflict and what it was really about underneath.
Big question: Do you fight, freeze, flee, or fix?
- Talk together
- Most of us have a go to move: avoiding, competing, accommodating, or collaborating. The skill is noticing your pattern and choosing on purpose.
- This week
- Catch yourself in your usual conflict style, just notice it.
Big question: Are you listening, or just waiting to talk?
- Talk together
- When we're upset, our thinking brain goes offline. Pause to cool down, then listen, restating what you heard lowers the temperature.
- This week
- In one disagreement, try to fully understand the other side before explaining yours.
Big question: What happens after the argument?
- Talk together
- Assertive communication is clear, honest, and respectful. Then comes repair, a real apology and knowing when to get help.
- This week
- Use one clear "I feel" statement and take one small step to repair a relationship if you'd like to.
When something feels bigger
These conversations sometimes open the door to harder things, that's a good sign. Reach out to a professional if your child talks about self harm, mentions abuse or feeling unsafe, shows lasting mood or behavior changes, or is dealing with something you don't feel equipped to handle alone.
In the U.S., call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline) any time. If someone is in immediate danger, call 911.
Tips for tough moments & keeping it going
- If a session falls flat, shorten it, ten honest minutes beats a forced hour.
- Do it side by side in the car or on a walk so there's less pressure.
- Name feelings out loud in daily life and narrate the skills during real conflict.
- Catch them doing it well and say so, specific praise beats general praise.
Every time you sit down and try, you're showing your child that feelings and conflict are things we can face together. That message lasts far longer than any single lesson.
